What Nobody Tells You About the 'Good Enough' Approach to Finishing Projects

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You know that feeling when you've ripped out the same row for the seventeenth time because one stitch looks slightly wonky? When you've spent three hours on something that should have taken thirty minutes, and you're starting to wonder why you even picked up that hook in the first place?

Last month, I was at 11 PM, redoing the same row for the 23rd time because one single stitch looked off. Not wrong enough for anyone else to notice. Not wrong enough to affect how the blanket would function. Just wrong enough for me to declare the entire project ruined.

Three hours later, I was crying into my yarn stash, wondering why I couldn't just enjoy making things.

If this sounds familiar, we need to talk about the difference between quality control and perfectionism - because they're not the same thing, and confusing them will kill your love for making stuff.

The Problem (When Good Standards Become Impossible Standards)

Here's what nobody tells you about perfectionism: it's not actually about having high standards. It's about fear.

Brené Brown talks about this in "The Gifts of Imperfection." Perfectionism, she says, is "a defensive move" - a way to protect yourself from criticism, judgment, or shame. It says "If I make this perfect, no one can criticize me."

But here's the thing: perfectionism in crochet often has nothing to do with the actual quality of your work.

Let me show you what I mean:

Quality control looks like:

• Checking your gauge for a fitted garment

• Fixing a mistake that will affect the structure

• Redoing a seam that won't hold

• Correcting a stitch count that throws off the pattern

Perfectionism looks like:

• Redoing rows because the tension is slightly different (but still functional)

• Frogging because one stitch is 2mm taller than the others

• Starting over because you don't like how the beginning looked after you've made significant progress

• Refusing to give gifts because they have minor imperfections only you can see

The first is practical. The second is fear dressed up as standards.

The Brené Brown Framework: Perfectionism vs. Healthy Striving

Brown makes a distinction that completely shifted how I think about my work:

Perfectionism focuses on what other people think. It's about avoiding judgment.

Healthy striving focuses on you. It's about growth and learning.

For crocheters, this translates to:

Perfectionist Thinking:

• "This has to look store-bought or people will think I'm not good at this"

• "I can't give this as a gift if there's one imperfect stitch"

• "Everyone else's projects look flawless"

• "I need to rip this out until it matches the pattern photo exactly"

Healthy Striving Thinking:

• "I'm improving with each project"

• "The person receiving this will value the time and effort"

• "Handmade means made by hands, imperfections included"

• "This serves its purpose and I learned something making it"

Notice the difference? Perfectionism is about external judgment. Healthy striving is about your own growth.

The "Good Enough Gauge" System

I developed this framework after that 11 PM crying session. It's three questions to ask before you frog anything:

Question 1: The Function Test

"Does this affect the function of the item?"

• Will the blanket still keep someone warm?

• Will the hat still fit properly?

• Will the structure hold up with use?

If the answer is yes (it still functions), move on to question 2.

Question 2: The Learning Test

"What am I actually learning from redoing this?"

• Am I improving a skill?

• Am I practicing a technique?

• Am I fixing a genuine mistake? Or am I just feeding anxiety?

If you're not learning anything new, move on to question 3.

Question 3: The Cost-Benefit Test

"Is the improvement worth the time and frustration?"

Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes you're making something for a special occasion and you want it to be your absolute best work. Sometimes you're practicing a new technique and the repetition matters.

But often? The answer is no. The "improvement" is invisible to everyone but you, and the cost is your time, energy, and enjoyment of the process.

Real-World Application: When to Actually Redo Things

Let me be clear: I'm not saying "never redo anything" or "mistakes don't matter."

Sometimes you should absolutely frog and start over:

• You miscounted stitches and your project is now the wrong size

• You're making something structural (like a bag) and the construction is weak

• You're learning a new technique and the practice will help you improve

• The mistake genuinely bothers you enough that you won't enjoy the finished item

But here's what I've learned: most of the time when I think I "have to" redo something, what I actually have to do is sit with the discomfort of it being imperfect.

That's not a crochet problem. That's an emotional regulation problem.

The Neurodivergent Angle: Why This Hits Different

If you're neurodivergent, perfectionism often shows up differently:

For some people with ADHD:

• Perfectionism becomes a form of procrastination

• The standard is so high you never start

• Or you start, hit an imperfection, and abandon the project entirely

For some autistic folks:

• There might be a genuine sensory or pattern recognition issue with imperfections

• The "wrongness" might actually be distressing in a different way

• Flexibility with standards might need to be practiced gradually

For people with anxiety:

• Perfectionism is often about control

• If you can make this one thing perfect, maybe you can manage the chaos

• (Spoiler: it doesn't work, but your anxiety doesn't know that)

The point is: one-size-fits-all advice about "just let it go" doesn't help if your relationship with perfectionism is tied to how you process information or manage stress.

What Actually Helped Me

After implementing the Good Enough Gauge for three months, here's what changed:

I finish things now. Not everything, and not always quickly, but I complete projects instead of abandoning them in perfectionist spirals.

I can tell the difference between "this needs fixing" and "this makes me anxious."

I enjoy the process more because I'm not constantly evaluating whether my work is "good enough" for some imaginary standard.

But here's what didn't change: I still have high standards. I still care about the quality of my work. I just stopped confusing quality with perfection.

The goal isn't to lower your standards. It's to make sure your standards are actually serving you instead of protecting you from imaginary judgment.

Your Good Enough Gauge Challenge

Week 1: Notice Without Fixing When you spot an "imperfection," don't automatically frog. Instead, take a photo and write down:

• What you noticed

• Whether it affects function

• What you'd learn from redoing it

• How much time it would take

Then wait 24 hours before deciding.

Week 2: The External Perspective Test Show your "imperfect" work to someone you trust. Ask them to point out what bothers you without telling them what it is. Usually, they can't find it.

This isn't about seeking validation. It's about calibrating your internal critic with external reality.

Week 3: Finish One "Imperfect" Thing Complete a project that has minor imperfections you would normally fix. Live with it for a week. Notice if it actually matters.

Week 4: Reflect and Adjust What did you learn about your perfectionism? Where does it help you? Where does it hold you back?

Ready to Break Free from Perfectionism?

Brené Brown's "The Gifts of Imperfection" will change how you think about perfectionism, shame, and what it means to be "good enough." Her research applies to way more than just crafting.

Fair warning: it's a personal development book with some spiritual elements. If that's not your thing, you might want to skip to the research-focused parts.

Get your copy of The Gifts of Imperfection here!

She also has a companion book "Daring Greatly" that goes deeper into vulnerability and shame resilience - which often underlie perfectionist tendencies.

Your Next Imperfect Step

Right now, look at your current project. Find one small "imperfection" that doesn't affect function or structure.

Leave it.

Just for today, let it exist. Notice what comes up for you. That discomfort? That's where the work actually is.

Hit reply and tell me about your perfectionist tendencies - I'm genuinely curious how this shows up differently for different people.

P.S. Struggling with actually finishing projects after you release perfectionism? Check out my post on Why Your Crochet Projects Keep Piling Up - because letting go of perfect doesn't automatically mean you'll finish things. That's a different skill.

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