Why Your Crochet Doesn't Look Like Instagram (And Why That's Actually Fine)

You finish a project you're proud of. You take a photo to share. You open Instagram to post it.

Then you scroll for just a second and see: perfectly styled flat lays, professional lighting, flawless stitches, hundreds of likes, comments like "I could never make something this beautiful."

You look at your photo again. Suddenly it looks... wrong. The lighting is bad. Your stitches look uneven. The whole thing seems amateur compared to what you just saw.

So you don't post it. You put your phone down feeling like maybe you're not actually good at this.

If you've ever felt your excitement about your work disappear after seeing someone else's, we need to talk.

When Comparison Steals Your Joy

Here's what used to happen to me:

I'd spend weeks on a project. Feel genuinely happy with how it turned out. Think "I'm getting better at this."

Then I'd see someone else's version of the same pattern - perfectly styled, gorgeous yarn, professional photos. And everything I felt about my work would change.

Not because my work changed. Because my perception of it changed.

I started noticing patterns:

• I'd avoid posting projects because they weren't "good enough"

• I'd pick apart my finished work looking for flaws

• I'd feel inadequate even when I was improving

• I'd apologize when showing people what I made ("It's not perfect but...")

The comparison wasn't motivating me to improve. It was stealing my ability to enjoy what I'd created.

What Brené Brown Teaches About Comparison and Shame

In "The Gifts of Imperfection," Brown explains why comparison is so toxic to creativity and joy.

Here's the core insight: Comparison is actually about shame, not about improvement.

When you compare your work to someone else's, you're not thinking "How can I learn from this?" You're thinking "I'm not good enough."

Brown says comparison triggers shame, which makes us want to hide. And when we hide our creative work (or ourselves), we lose connection - to others and to the joy of making.

The Comparison Trap for Makers:

What you see online:

• Finished projects in perfect lighting

• The best work from people who've been making for years

• Styled photos that took an hour to set up

• The 1 success out of 10 attempts

What you compare it to:

• Your work-in-progress under harsh overhead light

• Your current skill level, which is exactly where it should be

• Your phone photo you took in 30 seconds

• Every project you've ever made, including the learning attempts

It's not a fair comparison. It was never meant to be.

The Vulnerability of Sharing Handmade Work

Here's what Brown helped me understand: sharing something you made with your hands is inherently vulnerable.

You're not just sharing a product. You're sharing:

• The time you invested

• The learning process you went through

• The choices you made

• A piece of your creative self

When you compare your work to others and decide yours isn't "good enough," you're protecting yourself from the vulnerability of being seen as imperfect.

But here's what Brown emphasizes: Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, and connection.

When you hide your work (or apologize for it, or diminish it), you're trying to avoid shame. But you're also cutting yourself off from the good stuff - the pride, the connection with other makers, the joy of creating.

What I Started Doing Differently

After reading Brown's work and sitting with these ideas for a few months, here's what changed:

I Curated My Feed

Unfollowed accounts that consistently made me feel worse about my work. Not because their content was bad - because my reaction to it was unhealthy.

This wasn't about avoiding inspiration. It was about protecting my joy.

I Changed My Self-Talk

Old: "It's not perfect but here it is..." New: "Here's what I made."

Old: "I wish the stitches were more even." New: "I can see how much I've improved."

Old: "It doesn't look as good as [person's] version." New: "This is my version, made with my hands and my choices."

I Started Sharing Process, Not Just Products

Instead of only posting finished projects that met some arbitrary standard, I started sharing:

• Works in progress with visible mistakes

• Projects I abandoned and why

• Things I learned from attempts that didn't work out

• The messy reality of my craft space

The response? People connected with the realness more than they ever connected with my attempts at perfection.

I Asked Myself Brown's Questions

Before comparing my work to someone else's, I started asking:

• "Is this comparison helping me learn and grow?"

• "Or is this comparison making me feel shame?"

If it's the second one, I close the app.

The Neurodivergent Angle: Why This Hits Harder

If you're neurodivergent, comparison can be especially brutal:

RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria): Seeing "better" work feels like proof you're fundamentally not good enough. The shame is intense and disproportionate.

All-or-Nothing Thinking: If you're not as good as the expert, you must be terrible. There's no middle ground, no acknowledgment of your actual progress.

Masking and Performance: You might already spend energy pretending to be "normal" in other areas. Adding pressure to make your creative work look effortlessly perfect is exhausting.

Executive Function Challenges: You might struggle with follow-through or consistency. Seeing people who post finished projects constantly can feel like evidence of your failure.

Brown's work on shame resilience is especially important for neurodivergent folks because we often carry extra shame about being "different" or "not enough." That shame easily transfers to our creative work.

What Actually Matters

After a year of working with these ideas, here's what I've learned:

Your work doesn't need to look like anyone else's work. It just needs to be yours.

Handmade means made by hands. Your hands. With your skill level, your yarn choices, your learning process. That's what makes it valuable.

Progress is real even when it's invisible to you. You're comparing your current work to experts. But compare it to your work from a year ago - that's where you see actual growth.

Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Sharing imperfect work and saying "I made this and I'm proud of it" is braver than hiding until everything is perfect.

The joy matters more than the outcome. If making things brings you happiness, that has value regardless of whether it looks Instagram-worthy.

Your Comparison Detox Challenge

Week 1: Notice Your Patterns

Pay attention to how you feel after scrolling. Which accounts make you feel inspired? Which make you feel inadequate? Just notice.

Week 2: Curate Ruthlessly

Unfollow, mute, or hide anything that consistently triggers shame or inadequacy. You're not being mean - you're protecting your creative joy.

Week 3: Share Something Imperfect

Post a work in progress, a project with visible flaws, or something you learned from. Practice vulnerability in small doses.

Week 4: Practice New Self-Talk

Every time you catch yourself comparing, ask: "Is this helping me grow or making me feel shame?" If it's shame, redirect your attention.

Ready to Reclaim Your Creative Joy?

Brené Brown's "The Gifts of Imperfection" is about living wholeheartedly in a world that profits from our insecurities. It's not specifically about makers, but the principles apply directly to creative work.

Fair warning: It's a personal development book with spiritual elements. If you need research-heavy, evidence-based writing, this might not land for you. But if you need permission to be imperfect and still worthy, it might change everything.

Get your copy of The Gifts of Imperfection here!

Her book "Daring Greatly" goes deeper into vulnerability and shame - especially relevant if you struggle with sharing your work.

Your Next Step

Right now, think about one thing you made recently that you felt proud of - until you started comparing it to someone else's work.

Look at it again. See it for what it is: evidence that you made something with your hands. That you're learning. That you're creating.

That's enough. You're enough.

Hit reply and tell me: What's one account you follow that makes you feel worse about your work? You don't have to unfollow them, but naming it might help you notice the pattern.

P.S. Struggling with perfectionism on top of comparison? These two often go together, and Brown's work addresses both. The goal isn't to stop wanting to improve - it's to stop letting shame drive your creative life.

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